Viva la revolution...

Can someone explain to me how we changed the basketball pick-up game scoring system from 2's & 3's to 1's & 2's. It doesn't take this kid...



...to tell us this is a mathematically ridiculous system that promotes laziness and bad basketball. Here's the quick breakdown that's doomed to get more confusing before it makes sense: in the NBA if make two three's you get 6 points. It would now take three two pointers to match that. In streetball...if you make two 2's (aka 3's), you get 4 points. It would take FOUR 1 pointers to equal that. Confused, then all you need to know is that a "three" pointer in streetball is worth 17% more. If that still doesn't mean anything to you, then imagine if I said "You never have to pay tip at a restaurant again...EVER." All the sudden meals are a lot cheaper and you might even be tempted to order more. Now I'm going to gently move on before I make an obligatory race joke.

Look, I play basketball to get a good work out, win, and relive a youth that never existed. I can't hate on people standing outside the three point line and just shooting two's because it's mathematically irresponsible not to. Thanks to this, we get people that have no business launching air attacks at the backboard. The NBA had there own version of this when they moved the three point line in and was welcomed with Larry Johnson and Chris Webber starting there early career in masonry. More importantly than all of this, I also think it's just a more socially conscious system to help America improve our math skills. Have you ever been in a room and asked anyone to help you to do anything math related? It's like there is this tacit plea that each person hopes you'll get the answer first so we don't find out they never learned how to add. By the way, if you suggest this "new" scoring system in a pick-up game, you'll get the most confused looks followed by either laughs or silence. Is it that crazy to go by the actual rules? While I'm on this subject, if we have 10 people waiting to play a game, is it REALLY the most fair way to make teams to just put the first 5 that make it together? How does that make any sense? Let's put the guy with a forward hat on the same team as skinny, glasses, meathead that can't move his arms because he just worked out his biceps, and bubbleliscous (aka the guy that won't take his shirt off to go skins). The only people that find that fun are the same ones that pick the 49'ers in Tecmo Super Bowl. I can't do this alone. Give it a shot and spread the word.