Great Moments In Jason History....

Setting: Jason's Living Room
Time: Mid-90's
Place: Jason's House (Miami, Fl)

Several of my friends were over and in my room. One of my friends, Ramon, had just broken up with his girlfriend. This was a relationship of about 6 years, so this was kind of a big deal. It was also during the teenage years, which made it seemed twice as long and important. Ramon is a rather private person when it comes to his relationships and really didn't broadcast the break-up. My mom found out and it was only a matter of time (seconds really) before she accosted Ramon. Now, you've got to understand my mom. She takes a straight forward, almost school girl yet journalistic approach to anything that has to do with sex and relationships. If she thinks you're gay, "Are you a top or bottom?" will probably be the next question. The barrage of questions that would inevitably make Ramon feel discomfort and, more importantly, prevented Ramon from playing was coming. My friend and the next few minutes of my entertainment were in trouble. I had to do something, but what? Interrupt the conversation? No, that wouldn't work and would only pull me into the questioning. Tell her that Ramon doesn't feel comfortable talking? That would be like dropping a pint of blood in a pool of sharks. Punch her in the face? That would just be awkward for everyone. No, I needed a tactic much more cunning and strategic, but what? I was too young to know advanced battle tactics. Then I thought "What would the military do?" Yes, then it dawned on me...."shock and awe." I walked into the living room said "Hey Mom!" and I cracked an egg over my head. As the yolk ran down my smiling face, Ramon made his get away. My mom stood in disbelief "Jason, why would you crack an egg on your head?" My happy grin of indifference confused her. Her only response was to tell me to "wash it off before it got on the floor." Success! I saved my friend and was entertained. This has been a constant reference point for my mom and something she brings up at least once a month. Every time I do something stupid my mom will tell me "Jason, it's just like when you cracked an egg on your head!" or "It's just like when you said "Bird on your head (this is another story for another day)" and every time it reminds me of friendship and sacrifice. This was....A GREAT MOMENT IN JASON HISTORY!