MY TOP TEN FAVORITE ASIANS!!!!!

For hundreds of years there has been a divide between East and West. Finally, the power of TV allows America to embrace all the splendor of Asian culture. Here's a list of my Top Ten Favorite Asians:

10) The little Asian kid from "The Last Dragon"
This kid had everything I expect in an Asian actor: The ability to inflict harm to others. Plus he didn't even need “The Glow.”
9) Yao Ming
A 7 foot 6 inch Asian. If you do the proper conversion rate of Asian: American height. He's over 14 feet tall over there.
8) Dhaslim
Yes, he's from India BUT I've learned to things since coming to the west coast.
a: It is rude to call Asian people "Orientals"
b: India is part of Asia
I should say that I did "a" only because of "b".
7) Bolo Yeung
You know him as the bad guy from EVERY ASIAN MOVIE. Really, what the hell would they do without this guy? How smart was he to start working out? It's like no one in Asia figured it out. Plus, he was FIFTY when he filmed Bloodsport! Personally I think that's impossible and the Internet is lying to me.
6) Jackie Chan
I know he's rather low on the list. I love Jackie. Every time he punches the wall by accident and shakes his hands in pain it's hilarious, but when you see who's next you'll understand.
5) Guy who can explode his body in "Big Trouble in Little China"
It’s single handedly the most incredible attack in movie history. Best case scenario you ruin the person's clothes. Worst case scenario you ruin the person's clothes. How many times can you GUARANTEE ruining someone's clothes and all you have to do is explode. The cost/benefit is higher than slave labor.
4) Chozen
He's Daniel's rival in Karate Kid 2. Full of pride and loyalty to his Uncle. He'll insult you with great lines such as "Baby play with baby rattle!" then he'll challenge you to fight to the death for disgracing his honor during your girlfriend's o-Bon dance. Chozen also has the distinction of being the only person in HISTORY to stop the Crane Kick. I've watched the DVD hundreds of times to understand his counter technique. Apparently he blocks the leg Daniel has on the floor as opposed to the one that is raised slightly in the air. Genius and that's why he's number 5.
3) Jet Li
The speed. The skill. The athleticism. The amazingly terrible movies with rappers. He only made two, but man they were bad. When he limits the wires and concentrates on fighting he makes some damn good movies. "Kiss of the Dragon" is one of the better R rated action movies since the early 90's and "Fist of Legend" is still one of my favorites of all time.
2) Chow Yun Fat
As my friend Ramon once told me, "He is the only Asian I've seen pull off cool." He brings an amazing sense of regality and presence to the screen while showing just enough internal struggle that allows us to connect. If none of that convinces you why he's great then if he's in the movie there's a good chance a hell of a lot of people will die.
1) Bruce Lee
I know. It’s like putting the Beetles as the greatest group or “The Godfather” as the greatest movie. Sure he only did one movie worth anything. You could even put him on the "All Time Most Overrated List", but he's still amazing. He introduced America (and the world) to the majesty of Asian culture. He invented so many accepted martial arts conventions. For example, the "ripping off the shirt for no reason" which was later evolved and perfected by Jean Claude Van-Damme (the apex of gratuitous male nudity was attained when Van Damme snaps his underwear after hooking up with the blonde from "Bloodsport") Without Bruce Lee I might not of heard from anyone on this list. For that, he’s my favorite Asian of all time.

There are so many others. Some I didn't feel deserved the title of just Asian (like Mr. Miyagi) because he belongs to the world. Others, I just couldn't remember their names. I would like to thank all the Asian mothers for having so many children and I only have one thing to say to you: Keep it up!